Are You My Sister....Really?

Disclaimer: This post will only prick your heart if you are guilty of its contents!

And with this disclaimer, I will say that at one time I was so guilty until the contents of this post would have went beyond pricking, it would have stabbed! So forgive me if your feelings are hurt or you are provoked to anger, my aim is to cause thought...prayerful thought.

Have you ever walked up on a couple (or a few) of our church sisters engaged in gossip? Or maybe a sister walked up on YOU gossiping? Tale bearing? Being a busybody? That is something we should never do, God abhors it! But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters. (1 Peter 4:15) It is so easy to find ourselves engaged in tearing down our sister in Christ. And sometimes we find that all it takes is for one tongue to start wagging and the rest will follow! Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Psalm 34:13

We've all done it, and your are definitely a liar if you say that you've never gossiped or talked about someone. I know I used to do it, and loved it! I am just keeping it real. I couldn't wait until I got together with my natural sisters to pick the bones of my spiritual sisters. I never thought anything anything negative about it, that is, until it happened to me and I then began to realize how very wrong I had been.

 Being married to a minister is no joke! As a minister's wife I was subjected to every little cruel joke, every ugly whisper, every demeaning comment and every stream of gossip that could be spewed forward. What was worse, my children, who had done nothing to warrant such harsh words thrown out about them, received the brunt of the tongue wagers as well.  See. when you talk about your sister, your words don't only hurt her, but those daggers scatter and pierce the hearts of everyone close to her.You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother's son. (Psalm 50:20)

So when you find ugly things to say about your sister in Christ; is she really your sister? See, my Bible, and I am sure yours as well, tells us that we ought to love one another as Christ loves us. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35. Then tell me; what kind of love causes you to talk about your sister? What kind of love causes you to constantly harp on something that she has done? And it probably wasn't even to you! On top of that, she repented and asked for forgiveness...that should have settled the matter. Period! But what we like to do is keep "stuff" going. Sensationalize it! Make more out of than it really is. Hurt someone else so that we can have something to focus on instead of our own miserable, sorry lives. Yes, I said it...miserable and sorry! And I won't take it back. We gossip, we hurt, we backbite, we show no compassion, we love it when we see someone falling. We kick them instead of picking them up. We spread lies and rumors instead of opening our arms to give comfort. And then we have the nerve to call her a sister! Really?

A tongue that can't be contained is evil and evokes tremendous pain....but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. James 3:8 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. James 3:6 James warns us on many occasions about the results of the lose tongue. I want to ask you; what pleasure do you get from slandering your sister? What perverse enjoyment do you feel from gossiping? We have all sinned and fallen short as Paul says in Romans 3:23. So where do we have the room to speak evil of someone? Don't you realize that is hate? And you think you are going to enjoy the wonderful joys of heaven with that mouth? I DON'T THINK SO! 

Learn to count the cost before you submit to gossip. If you're gossiping about someone, you'd better believe someone is gossiping about you! What's the purpose? What are the benefits? What do you gain? Is she your sister in Christ...really? If you stand before me and tell me how much you love your Christian family and then take off like a bolt of lightning when you discover I am human; so you can gossip to others about my misfortune - I ask, where is the love?

So are you my sister...really?


 

A Cure For Fear

What are you afraid of? Being alone; flying the friendly skies; getting old; getting sick; death; having no friends; not accomplishing your goals; giving up on your dreams; life's inconsistencies or life itself? Our greatest enemy is fear! Strange as it may seem, we even fear, fear! I've had and still continue to have fears that I am trying to conquer. So writing this post will be easy because I am going to keep it real and personal. I am sure that many of you will be able to identify with my fears as you may have some of the same ones that I do. It is my prayer that I will touch upon something that will cause you to think.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirt of power, of love and of self-discipline." This tells me that the Lord gave us the power to overcome fear. Our spirits should not be timid, but so disciplined until we operate in love with all that we do. The Lord is with us in all our trials, we should not be afraid to face them. To fear is to place an unnecessary burden on ourselves when all we need to do is trust in the Lord. "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Proverbs 29:25.

I understand how hard it is to overcome fear. I truly understand how hard it is to 'let go and let God'. For years I've struggled with the thought of being alone as I grow older. I struggle with the reality that when my youngest daughter finally leaves home, it'll just be me in that big condo...alone. I struggle with the loneliness that engulfs me everyday when I come home from work and sit and eat alone and watch television alone and retreat to my bedroom alone. I struggle with paying bills and cry from seeing a paycheck I works so hard for and take so much ugliness from the world to earn, be absorbed by bills and I then wonder how I am going to make it though the next two weeks until I get paid again. I struggle with the thought of failing health. I struggle with the fact that I have no friends in the city I live in, and sometimes my phone doesn't ring for days except for solicitors. I struggle a lot with trying to find things to do to keep my mind occupied so that I won't be consumed by feat. I struggle with the thoughts of something horrible happening to my children, grandchildren, or other close family members. I struggle with the thought of not fulfilling my goals, or realizing my dreams.  My struggles are ALL fears...so are yours! Fears that at some point have utterly consumed me and taken my focus away from where it should be...above. David knew and encourages us where to put our trust. "When I am afraid I will trust you. In God, whose word I praise. In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4

Endless Love

When it comes to my taste in secular music, I love jazz, soundscapes and “oldies”! Sometimes those oldies get me through a very trying day. You know how you listen to them and it’s like, “yeah, that’s it! That’s how I’m feelin’ right about now…go on with your bad self!”  You know, stuff like that. And oldies love songs…what you say! I can sit back and listen, and listen, and listen…then I cry, and cry, and cry! Wow, this is exhausting! But anyway, you know where I’m going with this…or…may be you don’t.  

So I was at work listening to music online, specifically, Motown oldies. You know about Motown, right? Marvin Gaye, The Supremes, The Temptations, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, The Commodores, Billy Preston….singing all of them good old songs. Songs you can actually sing the lyrics to; songs you can understand; songs that mean something…and they are all about love. Yeah, love…that elusive thing that we want, that we say we’ve had. Sometime I wonder about that, like, here I am 59 years old and I really don’t know what love is. I mean that real thing between a man and woman; that thing that makes you smile every day when you think about him; that thing that keeps you feeling 21 when you’re really 41! Oh well, at this age I kinda figure I’ll never experience that type of love, but what I do experience every second of every day is a love that is all-consuming, ever present, and all-sustaining! This love keeps me through the night and wakes me up in the morning. This love is endless!

So that brings me to the title of this post “Endless Love”; a song made famous by Diana Ross and Lionel Ritchie. Take a look at the lyrics to this song if you will:

My love, there’s only you in my life

The only thing that’s right

My love, you’re every breath that I take

You’re every step I make

And I, I want to share all my love with you

No one else will do

And your eyes, they tell me how much you care

Oh yes, you’ll always be my endless love

Two hearts that beat as one

Our lives have just begun

Forever, I’ll hold you close in my arms

I can’t resist your charms

And love, I’ll be a fool for you

I’m sure you know I don’t mind

‘Cause you mean the world to me

Oh I know I found in you my endless love

Oh and love I’ll be that fool for you

I’m sure you don’t mind

And yes you’ll be the only one

‘Cause no one can’t deny

This love I have inside

And I’ll give it all to you

My love, my endless love

Wow! Whew! My Goodness! What a love…what a lover! When you hear those lyrics, you can’t do anything but shake your head and go hmm….If only! Okay so maybe I don’t have that physical love, that closeness with a person of the opposite sex, perhaps I’ll never experience such wonderment and I will admit it bothers me and at times it hurts. So when I become consumed with this type of thinking, I have to do something extraordinarily simple…I have to LOOK UP! Yes, look up to that One who is the epitome of love!  He is without question the greatest lover there is, He is the Alpha and Omega, the Almighty, the Highest, the love of my life; He is absolute love! 1 John 4 talks about His incomparable love.

Holding Pattern

This morning a dear friend sent me this email from an unknown author and I wanted to share it with all of you because it simply hit home with me as I am sure it will with some of you. I’ve been praying earnestly to my Father for some things that I have been struggling with for a while and it just seems that He doesn’t hear me and I’ve become frustrated and depressed. Now I know that I am in a holding pattern. If you’ve been praying for something to happen, for a change to take place in your life and it hasn't happened yet, you are probably in a holding pattern as well. Please read on….

Many times God will allow a painful situation or a painful circumstance in our life to "swallow us up." This season in our spiritual growth is a holding pattern. We can't move to the left or the right. All we can do is sit, like Jonah sat in the belly of that great fish, so God can have our undivided attention and speak to us. God put Jonah in a holding pattern because He needed to speak to his heart. Jonah was all alone. There were no friends to call, no colleagues to drop by, no books to read, no food to eat, no interference, and no interruptions. He had plenty of time to sit, think, meditate, and pray.

When we're deep down in the midst of a difficult situation, God can talk to us. When He has our undivided attention, He can show us things about ourselves that we might not otherwise have seen.

A Few of God's Holding Patterns:

1. When you are sick in your physical body and you have prayed but God has not healed you yet, you are in a holding pattern

2. When you are having problems with your children and you have put them on the altar, but God has not delivered them yet, you are in a holding pattern.

3. When you have been praying for the salvation of a loved one and they have not been saved yet, you are in a holding pattern.

4. When you are in a broken relationship and you have given it over to God, but it has not been restored yet, you are in a holding pattern.

5. When the doors slam shut before you can knock on them, you are in a holding pattern.

When we are deep in the belly of a difficult situation, there are no interruptions. God has our undivided attention. All we can do is sit, think, meditate, and pray. We cannot run from God because there are no Mountains that are high enough, valleys low enough, rooms that are dark enough, or places that are hidden enough from Him. We must remember to praise Him while we're waiting and remember three things:

1. The pattern has a purpose.

2. The pattern has a plan.

3. The pattern has a process.

 So stop struggling and start listening, praying and trusting. He'll keep you right where you are until you can clearly hear Him say, "I love you."

Prayer:  Father, forgive my unbelief. I know You Love me and will turn anything around to benefit me. You have planned nothing for me but victories and I am ready to receive them regardless of how difficult the path.  Amen

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

 God does answer our prayers, "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him." (1 John 5:14-15); "And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it." (John 14:13-14)

There are some things we must remember though, 1) whatever we ask for, our promotion of the Gospel must be protocol; 2) all glory belongs to our heavenly Father-never forget that; 3) we cannot ask selfishly-it won’t work; and 4) remember that the Lord knows our needs, our wants, our desires-if it is His will, we will receive.

The Lord does hear all of our prayers, never forget that! At times however, His answer is going to be “no”. And that is the hardest thing to hear, the word “no”. But He knows what we need better than we do ourselves will not give us what we ask for because it is not good for us. So be thankful the of the “no’s”… and.keep on asking!

The Monkey on Your Back

A person who is said to have a monkey on his or her back most likely appears to be struggling with an overwhelming and troubling burden. A persistent problem might be described as a monkey on one’s back. www.voices.yahoo.com/idioms-unpacked-monkey-back-5456074.html?cat=37

John Meggiolaro, a managing partner at the business development firm, The Travid Group, in his post Getting A Monkey Off Your Back profoundly stated that “almost all of us are walking around with one or more monkeys on our backs. For some, they are the size of a baby chimpanzee. For others, they may be full-grown gorillas. No matter the size, the fact that one or more are there demands our attention. And it's no secret that the care and feeding of these monkeys can be overwhelming”. http://EzineArticles.com/5174439

I can agree with Mr. Meggiolaro to a certain degree. Unless you are a child as described by Jesus Christ in Matthew 18:3, we all are walking around with a monkey-two monkeys-three monkeys (you get the drift) on our backs! And the monkey or monkeys is sin in its most basic form. So it doesn’t matter the size – sin is sin and because it separates us from God (Isaiah 59:2). Anything that we allow to detach us from God puts us in a very bad place.

There were also several suggested for getting the monkey off our back, like: 1) pick a monkey; 2) state your desired outcome in a proactive manner; 3) identify the possible road blocks that might get in the way; 4) select actions to overcome those road blocks; 5) identify anything else that may impact your ability to achieve your desired outcome; and, 6) take action.

Pick a monkey. Galatians 5:19-21

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which, I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in times past, that those that practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God”. These are your monkey choices and I guarantee you that we all have a multitude of these little critters; they don’t come in ones’!

State your desired outcome in a proactive manner. Matthew 7:7-8; Matthew 6:6; 1 Peter 3:12; 1 John 5:14-15

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened”. “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly”. We want to rid ourselves of the monkeys, we want relief from the stress and we want peace. God knows what we need even better than we do and he is willing to give us the means necessary to put our lives back on track. As a matter-of-fact, he has already given it to us, it is called prayer! But we have work to do…like His will….for starters and enders! “For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil”. “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him”. We have to be proactive in our petitions to the Lord and remember we have an active part in our prayers; we must be willing to do our share.

Identify the possible roadblocks that might get in the way. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9; Matthew 6:24; 1 John 2:15-17

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed”. “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon”. “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[a] is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever”. Our only roadblock is the love of the world for this is the catalyst for every sin that we commit, no matter what that sin is, because if we love anything or anyone more than we love the Lord, we will sin. Whatever it is that has put us a guilty distance from God starts with something that is in the world that we desire…whatever it is, and all of this gets in our way of serving Him properly and causes those monkeys to jump all over us!

Closed Doors

At some point we all struggle with those "closed doors"...things that we pray for that we don't get. I know I do. One of my biggest struggles with the closed door is that of companionship. After being married for 21 years, it was and still is hard to come home to an empty house. And now that my children are all grown and most of them with families of their own, I really miss not having someone to talk to, to just be close to. Especially when my ex-husband went to being an ex to a current, it didn't take him very long and after thirteen years, I am still faced with a closed door. I have a very good friend who is always sending me encouraging emails. I tell him that somehow he just seems to send me an email about a subject that I've been struggling with. So if you're currently struggling with a closed door, remember, that door has been closed by the Lord for a reason...so that he can open up one that is so much better for you. Let us help each other bask in the wisdom of God because he knows us better than we do and he knows far better what we need than we do.

I just came back from a little walk with this very subject on my mind, as I walked I prayed to the Lord to help me not dwell on the closed doors but to be thankful for the ones that are open now and those that he will be opening in the future. Let's pray for each other to stop crying over what we want or think we want and be joyful over what we have knowing "...how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11) And "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17). I would like to share the lastest email my friend sent to me and hope that you are inspired as I was:

CLOSED DOORS
We need to learn to praise the Lord as much for a closed door as we do an open door. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us. If he didn't close the wrong door, we would never find the right door.

God directs our path through the closing and opening of doors. Once a door closes, it forces you to change your course. Another door closes, it forces you to change your course again. Then, finally, you find the open door and you walk right into your blessing.

The Lord directs our paths through the opening and closing of doors, but instead of praising Him for the closed door (which keeps us out of trouble); we get upset because we "judge by appearances."

You have an ever-present help in the time of trouble that is always standing guard. Because he walks ahead of you, He can spot trouble down the road and set up a roadblock or detour accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom, we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour sign.

With You, I’m Born Again!

There are so many “old school” songs about love that simply move me to great thought, or maybe wishful thinking, depending on your interpretation of this post. Anyway, although I am fully aware of the worldly connotations of these songs, I can examine them from a spiritual aspect to interpret a love that is beyond comprehension; a love so beautiful and lasting until the very awareness of its existence, for some, is inconceivable. One of those songs is, “With You I’m Born Again”, a duet with Billy Preston and Syreeta. For those of you who aren’t old school and don’t know it, here are the words, without the stanza repetitions:

Come bring me your softness
Comfort me through all this madness
Woman [man], don't you know, with you I'm born again

Come give me your sweetness
Now there's you, there is no weakness
Lying safe within your arms, I'm born again

I was half, not whole
In step with none
Reaching through this world
In need of one

Come show me your kindness
In your arms I know I'll find this
Woman [man], don't you know, with you I'm born again
Lying safe with you I'm born again

WOW, what a love! But I am going to step outside of the boundaries of this song being about a male and female relationship and look at it from the lens of a spiritual relationship with the Lord. Contrary to those who say, “I don’t need anybody or anything”, we all need comfort in our lives and the Lord is there to shower us with His softness. He is our comfort, one that will never elude us. “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will never forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed” Deuteronomy 31:8. “Come unto me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” Matthew 11:28-29. 

The world is in a perpetual state of confusion and Satan’s only goal is to trap us, get us caught up in the madness and keep us from looking up and seeking the peace that only God can provide. “And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7. And the Lord is so very sweet to us! “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” Psalm 34:8. Furthermore, there is no weakness in the Lord for our safety abides in His love because “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” 1 John 4:28. “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety” Psalm 4:8.

We are whole in the Lord, we have all that we could ever want…ever need! “[We] have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer [us] who live, but Christ who lives in [us]. And the life [we] now live in the flesh [we] live by faith in the Son of God, who loved [us] and gave himself for [us]” Galatians 2:20 and “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” 2 Corinthians 5:17. We reach out to the Lord and the world cannot touch us since “[We] can do all things through him who strengthens [us]” Philippians 4:23. [We] can conquer the world because [we] know the nature of what it has to offer; “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” Ephesians 6:12 and “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2.

However, we have a significant role in our transformation. We have to radiate kindness, we have to love; and that means everyone! We cannot pick and choose who we will love based on our perceptions of them, biases, prejudices, whatever! “Above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony” Colossians 3:14 and “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins” 1 Peter 4:8. “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man” Ecclesiastes 12:3.