The Awakening

Please read to the end!

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of what you are...and that's okay. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging others and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained in your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe you parents, family and friends.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your own instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for you next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn to that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you lean about love.

How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them to be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and ask for things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.

And you learn that your body really is a temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. Most importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that its okay to ask for help.

You learn the only thing you must fear is the robber baron of all: FEAR itself! You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometime bad things happen to good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. Life is just happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise never to betray yourself and never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so that you can listen to the wind.

And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

A Cure For Fear

What are you afraid of? Being alone; flying the friendly skies; getting old; getting sick; death; having no friends; not accomplishing your goals; giving up on your dreams; life's inconsistencies or life itself? Our greatest enemy is fear! Strange as it may seem, we even fear, fear! I've had and still continue to have fears that I am trying to conquer. So writing this post will be easy because I am going to keep it real and personal. I am sure that many of you will be able to identify with my fears as you may have some of the same ones that I do. It is my prayer that I will touch upon something that will cause you to think.

2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirt of power, of love and of self-discipline." This tells me that the Lord gave us the power to overcome fear. Our spirits should not be timid, but so disciplined until we operate in love with all that we do. The Lord is with us in all our trials, we should not be afraid to face them. To fear is to place an unnecessary burden on ourselves when all we need to do is trust in the Lord. "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Proverbs 29:25.

I understand how hard it is to overcome fear. I truly understand how hard it is to 'let go and let God'. For years I've struggled with the thought of being alone as I grow older. I struggle with the reality that when my youngest daughter finally leaves home, it'll just be me in that big condo...alone. I struggle with the loneliness that engulfs me everyday when I come home from work and sit and eat alone and watch television alone and retreat to my bedroom alone. I struggle with paying bills and cry from seeing a paycheck I works so hard for and take so much ugliness from the world to earn, be absorbed by bills and I then wonder how I am going to make it though the next two weeks until I get paid again. I struggle with the thought of failing health. I struggle with the fact that I have no friends in the city I live in, and sometimes my phone doesn't ring for days except for solicitors. I struggle a lot with trying to find things to do to keep my mind occupied so that I won't be consumed by feat. I struggle with the thoughts of something horrible happening to my children, grandchildren, or other close family members. I struggle with the thought of not fulfilling my goals, or realizing my dreams.  My struggles are ALL fears...so are yours! Fears that at some point have utterly consumed me and taken my focus away from where it should be...above. David knew and encourages us where to put our trust. "When I am afraid I will trust you. In God, whose word I praise. In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4

What Do You Have In That Bag? Part Three

Bag of Fear

“…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself…”. These are some awesome, thought-provoking words that were spoken by President Franklin Roosevelt on March 3, 1933.

            There is an enemy that lurks within us …that enemy is fear.

            Since September 11, 2001, we have become a nation of fear. We live with the constant threat of terrorism, global warming, nuclear disaster, and horrific crimes being carried out on the home front. We, as President Roosevelt said, fear, fear itself. When things are going well, we are well. However, when the enemy has us in his grasp and we are too afraid, or don’t know how to break lose; we lose sight of God’s promises. Remember what Joshua said to the children of Israel when they were getting ready to cross over into the Promised Land…”Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) Oh how wonderful it would be if we could just take solace in those words! However, that human part of us can’t see beyond today. We just cannot grasp the brevity of any situation.

            When fear takes hold of us, we become virtually paralyzed; we cannot move forward or backward. We are stuck in a place where we don’t want to be, but feel powerless to do anything to change. The past holds us captive and the future terrifies us! We all have “issues”, but how we handle them has a great impact on how those “issues” affect our lives. Being in an abusive marriage greatly increased my proclivity for fear. I feared getting out of bed each day because I feared what the day would bring and how I would be to able cope. I feared nightfall because I knew that I had to stay awake until my husband came home from work. I thought about what John said in 1 John 4:18-19 and I knew that something was terribly wrong with that picture. The love of the Lord and each other should have negated any fears that I was experiencing, and since that was not the case, where was the love in the relationship? I was a Christian and God did not give me a spirit of fear, but one that would help me to overcome those that wished to do me harm as found in 2 Timothy 2:7

            After so many years, I asked myself: how do I overcome the fear? How do I regain control enough to rely on the Lord? There were so many examples in the scriptures that I could learn from. Even from the beginning, the Lord gave us hope against fear, as we can see in Genesis 15:1; he told Abraham to not be afraid “…I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward,” and He is! In Isaiah 43:5, God told his people to “fear not…” With assurance, David lets us know that “the Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1); to combat fear, we must trust, and that trust should only be put in the Lord! “In God (I will praise His word), in God I have put my trust; I will not fear; what can flesh do to me?” (Psalm 56:4); we must remember that trust works along side hope. We have to hope in the Lord and know that no one can do anything against us, whether real or imagined. “…The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6) When you trust in a person, you put all your confidence in that person. You feel safe when that person is around you, as if you are a part of their space; and you have a calm contentment surrounding you. Those are the very same experiences you should have in the Lord; for only the Lord will be there forever! Trusting in God casts out all fears. (Mark 4:38-40) You can be in the midst of a raging storm, but if you trust in the Lord you will have no fear because you know that He will bring you through it. Consider your life a series of raging storms; as each one abates you thank the Lord for bringing you through it, knowing that another one is enviably on the way and the Lord will bring you through that one as well.