Friendship...What is True Friendship?

Lately I have been grappling with the definition of friendship. What is a true friend? I have thought over the years that I knew the meaning of that word and was elated with all of the “friends” that I thought I had. As I have grown older and gone through so much, I have finally come to grips with the meaning of true friendship. I say come to grips with it, because invariably when you discover the true meaning of anything, there are consequences to that discovery. And a lot of times, those consequences are quite hurtful. While I fully realize that Christ is a friend that you will never worry about leaving you, I believe that He also wanted us to experience the love of friendship on this earth. So upon my awakening, if you will, of the knowledge that those I held as dear as friends did not come close to the accurate meaning of the word, pain followed.


I have discovered that a true friend is always honest with you, no matter what. And that honesty does not include innuendos, only fact. A true friend does not hold you at arms distance one day, and can’t let you go on another. A true friend will always be upfront with you, thereby giving you the option of how you would like to move forward. A friend lifts you up. A friend is always there for you, even when they are tired. Everyone needs support, and a true friend will give you that support even if it means taking them out of their comfort zone, because they know it is only temporary, and your needs come first. A true friend will check on you periodically, if nothing else, to make sure you are okay. A true friend will not play head games with you, because they realize the pain associated with such actions. A true friend will listen, will go through the dark times with you, will always be there with open arms, and not just when it is convenient for them.


Being a friend is not a hard thing to do; it is actually wonderful, loving and fulfilling. To know that you can be that for someone is like letting telling Christ, “Okay Lord, I want to emulate you in every way possible!” Since you cannot be a friend without loving that person the way the Lord does, to become a true friend is to become Christ-like. I have tried all my adult life to be a friend, sadly, I have a bad habit of thinking others have that same mindset. I want all of you to think about how you treat others. Ask yourself, “Am I really being a friend? Am I telling this person one thing, doing another, and not meaning any of it? Am I considering this person’s feelings? Am I out for what I can get from this person? Am I am using this person for my own self-gratification?” If you struggle with these questions, then you are not a friend. Please work on it…how you would feel after years of thinking someone is your friend, to find out, when you really needed that person they were nowhere to be found, and what you thought you had was only to discover the pain of realization that the only thing there was in your mind!